Mixed Emotions - I like a best friend of mine

I have very mixed emotions when it comes to my feelings for someone that is very close to me, if you saw my " Curious Questions Tag" you would've seen that there were a few questions asking if you're interested in anyone and so on, and at the time i wasn't really sure, and to be honest i'm still not sure, it's very scary because i have this constant reminder of liking a best friend of mine for a while now and every time that i do get a chance to meet up with this person i feel a bit shy and timid when i'm around them face to face, because i feel so vulnerable at the moment and i think to myself " oh gosh yvette don't act out of place or then he will find out you like him" but at the same time if i don't see this person for a while then my mind is content and i seem to kind of forget about liking them at that moment, it's very weird and i'm not so sure if i'm making any sense and if any person can actually relate to how i'm feeling right now. At times i just think of when i'm going to blurt out " I LIKE YOU!!!!!" but then time and time comes and i don't all i do is wonder, and look i've done this before, my ex was a best friend of mine, and it didn't work out clearly, i think i had more feelings for him than he did for me which is fine but ever since i haven't really talked to him like i used to anymore, and he was a really good friend of mine, usually when something happened to me i knew i could trust him and let him know how i felt in the moment and he was always so supportive and always gave me words of encouragement and just positive thoughts to help ease me and i loved that, but now when something happens, i don't go to him, we don't talk as often, i've dealt with it once, and i'm afraid it'll happen again.. we shall see what happens, i'll keep you updated if anything else in my love life happens from here out, take care guys

Currently Reading: A Little Something Different by Sandy Hall

Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking, i didn't do a book review for Deliver us from evil by ernestina sodi, but actually i thought instead of making another post for it i would just include it each time i'm about to read something new, so in this case i'm currently starting to read this book so at the end i'll share my thoughts on the last book i read, i hope it doesn't get too confusing but um let's go! So this book is called A Little Something Different and it is by Sandy Hall, and on the cover it says that it has fourteen viewpoints around one love story. So let me share some background on this book

Description: The creative writing teacher, the delivery guy, the local Starbucks baristas, his best friend, her roommate, and the squirrel in the park all have one thing in common --- they believe that Gabe and Lea should get together. Lea and Gabe are in the same creative writing class. They get the same pop culture references, order the same Chinese food, and hang out in the same places. Unfortunately, Lea is reserved, Gabe has issues, and despite their initial mutual crush, it looks like they are never going to work things out. But somehow even when nothing is going on, something is happening between them, and everyone can see it. Their creative writing teacher pushes them together. The baristas at Starbucks watch their relationship like a TV show. Their bus driver tells his wife about them. The waitress at the diner automatically seats them together. Even the squirrel who lives on the college green believes in their relationship. Surely Gabe and Lea will figure out that they are meant to be together.....

Where to buy it: A Little Something Different  <--- click on the link and you will see that on this website you'll be able to get this book in paperback for $6.78.. i have the ebook of this and it cost about like $7.

 Deliver Us From Evil: and now i will talk about the last book i read, man oh man... that book was really good, captivating and very interesting to see the own author's viewpoint on all this madness since this personally happened to her, and it's remarkable to think that she would have enough strength to want to share this story and write a book about her experience because i'm sure she had to relive that experience over and over again while writing and editing this book, i really enjoyed this book, it's a very easy and quick read and it's very fast paced but yet leaves you a lingering feeling as you read it as though you can feel what she is feeling at that very moment, i enjoyed it a lot and i hope to see more from her and if she has other stories to share than i'll read those as well

Well thanks everyone for viewing this and i hope you all have a wonderful night! Take care guys!! :)

Story Time: I Can't Seem To Get My Driver's License

So i've decided that i wanted to share a story that maybe most people wouldn't want to share because maybe they're embarrassed or ashamed, and although i admit i did feel embarrassed the first experience with this happening, now i've just looked at this as a learning experience and that is why i decided i wanted to share this with possibly more people to see, so just as for background... cars and me don't mix well, i didn't learn how to drive until probably the middle of 2015, i was probably still 17 which isn't a bad age or anything but most people around that age know how to drive and have a permit of some sort, well i toke a bit longer to confront cars and driving because to be honest i was scared.. i have bad anxiety when it comes to cars because i know for a fact it's the most common way of death, like no doubt, what do we hear more often of... getting eaten alive by a shark, or dying in a car accident?... i think you get my point, so i dealt with major anxiety towards driving and toke some time to develop a comfortable environment from it, once i felt comfortable enough i went to the dmv, as anyone else would, passed my permit, yay.. now for driving tests... well you see i failed my first one for a major error, which was backing up, i won't get into details because this will be super long, but either ways i failed, i didn't think too much of it, because oh well i can take it again another time no worries :) i went the second time... ah i thought i was going to pass because i gained more experience since the last time, and i know what to expect on the test now... but sadly i did not pass, another critical error done by me, this time i really beat myself up because i was soooo disappointed with myself and knowing that i could've passed because i already knew what i should! and so i cried and i hated myself for a while because of it, and it wasn't so much of the rejection feeling anymore, it was actually knowing the fact that my anxiety would not let me do the stuff i wanted to do, and i know i shouldn't be using my mental disorder as an excuse but the feeling of being constantly anxious of different matters really takes a toll on me, and each time i tried taking this driving test i would have a really sharp sinking feeling and i would eventually get little panic attacks from it because i'm so dang nervous! well then either ways next time comes around and its the third time i've taken this driving test, and i felt really confident, i failed twice.. cool but now i learned from it and i'll succeed this day... but guess what? i didn't.. i failed once again, and from what? a critical error, ah yes, my friend enemy, at this point i am just in tears asking myself why? how can you do this? and looking back i just laugh at this because it's very dramatic and it doesn't matter anymore, but at that time i felt very upset with myself, not blaming others but just blaming myself because i was the one who made these stupid mistakes, the ride home from the dmv was always a drag because i just would constantly reflect on the stupid mistakes i've made and cry and cry and cry, and every time my mom would consult me and tell me not to cry and the last time this happened she told me " don't cry, the only thing you can take away from this is knowing that okay you failed but the only loss you had of this was the loss of time and money, thats it! nothing more is lost from this experience, all you lost was your value of time in the day to come over here in the morning and a bit of money each time we visit" and that is when i drew the line from myself. I constantly was putting myself down each time more and more each time that i had failed but now i drew a line and told myself to never do that again because my mom is right the only thing i lost from this was time and money, and i realized what is the big rush to getting a drivers license? i'm still young, i live with my parents, i go to school, it would be easier if i did have a drivers license but then again, the car that i'm going to have is my mom's car but she is still currently using it so even if i did have my drivers license she would still have to come with me because she is using that same car as well until she can get a new one, so the lesson of the day is, don't beat yourself up for the silly actions that come with because nothing is ever as valuable as you are, these are all materialistic values and nothing more, so if you happened to lose your keys to your house, or get something stolen or not pass a driving test, it doesn't matter, sure it hurts but in the end of the day knowing that you have a loving family, a safe place to call home, well then.. you have it all.. thank you for spending the time with me to view this and i hope you all have a wonderful day, take care!! :)

My Night Time Routine!

Hello everyone!! I decided that i wanted to show you guys what i do for a night time routine, although i'm not going to bed anytime soon i thought it would be nice to just show, my routine is pretty basic so we might have a lot of the same preparation steps but it was fun to do so i'm not complaining :)

So first off i like to take a shower in the night, because i believe that it helps relax and wind me down in order to go to bed, i don't always shower at night but it is my preference!

These are the products that i used this night which from left to right is my Bath and Body Works body mist/ spray and it's scent is Plumeria, i have next to it a Bath and Body Works body lotion in the scent Apple Blossom and Lavender and next to that is a type of serum that i put on my hair after i get out of the shower and it's called infusium 23 and it helps to repair and renew split ends and color treated hair. Next to that i have my Rise By Beyonce and it's just a shower gel :) and of course my hair brush to brush my hair afterwards 

after i get out of the shower and put all the products on my body and hair i then put on the end of my hair an hair elixir that is by Garnier Fructis  and it's use is for color treated hair 

Here is my wet hair after the shower lol, i wanted to show some of my highlights that i have at the ends of my hair because that is why i use the product i showed above, since i have highlights throughout my hair i decided to put the hair elixir throughout the ends because now that my hair has grown out more all of my highlights are now towards the bottom of my hair. 

afterwards i go on and wash my face with this Clean & Clear essentials foaming facial cleanser, it's pretty basic, nothing too fancy and the only con to this is that your face dries up after using this product so i advise you all to put on moisturizer afterwards if you use this product 

and here's a picture of me with the cleanser on my face, and the bottle says that it's a foaming cleanser but as you can see on my face, there is not much foam action going on lol it's more of just a subtle lather. 

 after i wash my face i then get a cotton round, which you can find at any store and they are cheap as well, and i take the cotton round and put a little bit of witch hazel onto the cotton round and put it all over my face, and it kind of acts as a toner and it helps with wayyyy more stuff like scars or scrapes or mosquito bites, seriously witch hazel is good for a lot of stuff so i recommend it :) 

I'm almost done with my face woot woot, the last product is just something i personally like to put on, it's a hydrocortisone cream and it's main use is like for rashes or scrapes because its an anti-itch cream but i use it as a blemish cream where i can apply it to the blemishes i have on my skin and keep it on overnight, and its crazy to think but this stuff works awesomely!!! it reduces redness and helps to shrink it down, so go get some! plus you can use it for other purposes like the witch hazel i showed 

Last but not least, after i wash my face and brush my teeth i like to end off my day by reading the book that i'm reading at the time and if i don't read that night i usually play a quick game on my nintendo ds and it just helps me get into the habit of knowing that it's now time to sleep, reading for me helps me relax and settle down at night so i usually prefer to read at night with some classical music playing in the background! but of course if i'm not able to then maybe i would play a game, well guys that was my whole night time routine that i usually do on a basis, some nights might be different, depending on if i'm too tired or awake, it fluctuates but it was nice and fun to create this nonetheless and i hope you have a great night and i hope to see you all very soon :) Take care guys!! 

Currently Reading: Deliver Us From Evil By Ernestina Sodi

 

Sorry that there isn't really a great picture of this book but that is what i could find so far, but i wanted to let you guys know what book i'm reading right now at this moment and i'm almost done with it as well so of course i'll be doing a book review and well this book is about the author herself and her story with being kidnapped along with her sister and it's also known as one of the most famous kidnappings as well, i got my book from the last bookstore and i got it for about maybe $4-6, i'm not too sure of how much it really costed but that is what i can remember of it, I have a love for true crime books so whenever i do see some great ones at stores it's pretty hard to resist in buying it, if you want to purchase it yourself, you can.. i'll give you guys the description that comes with the book so you know whether or not it interests you.

Description : Every year, an estimated 5,000 people are kidnapped for ransom in Mexico. Since few kidnappings are ever reported to police for fear of reprisals, the terrifying ordeal that survivors endure has remained a mystery-- until now. On September 22, 2002, Mexican writer Ernestina Sodi and her sister, actress Laura Zapata, were kidnapped at gunpoint in Mexico city. Both victims are members of the prominent Sodi family; their younger sister is Thalia, an international pop sensation, and the wife of billionaire music mogul Tommy Mottola. Tragically, it was Mattola's glaring fortune which caught the attention of the abductors, making their kidnapping the most widely publicized in recent memory.

Where to buy it: I found a book comparison website to help me see if you wanted to buy this book then i would find the cheapest available source and i found that at Half.com it is sold for just $0.75 cents.. which is crazy and they claim it's in good condition as well, not bad at all. I'll leave the link to the website so you can check it out if you want to... Half.com <-- there you go

I hope you guys have a wonderful day and i think i'll post another post later in the night as well :) but take care guys!!

Society6

I wanted to share a website that i found recently which really surprises me that it's taken this long for to find something like this because it's beautiful and it's called Society6 and it's a website where independent artists can share their art and sell it as well with many different ways such as a mug, a canvas print, a phone case, a pillow,  a blanket and a tote bag and much more and i wanted to share some of my favorite pieces that i've seen in each category, and each thing that you buy directly goes to the artist you bought it off from which is amazing!!! Society6  <--- this is the website page :)



This piece is called Marianna and it's designed by Ruben Ireland and this piece is an art print and a mini costs about $18, and of course there are other sizes for this print. Marianna <-- go check out the piece on the website for more info.



Here is a canvas print which is named Journeying Spirit ( deer) by Mat Miller which costs $85 for a small print... Journeying Spirit (deer) <--- here is the page for it



They even have some wall tapestries and this one is called the Zodiac Star Map by FromFloralWithLove and this costs $79.00 ... Zodiac Star Map <-- here is the page


I adore this next item which is a nope pillow lol this is called Nope and it's by Gemma Correll and it costs $20.00 ... Nope. <-- here is where you can find it



here is an iphone case that is real marble black and it's by Grace and it costs $35 .. Real marble black <-- here is where to find it


I love this tote bagggggggg it's called whole lotta horror and it's by Josh Ln and it costs $22 ... Whole Lotta Horror <-- here is the page



here is a men's tshirt and this is called Hero-glyphics: The Force and it's by Josh Ln as well and it costs $22 as well and here is where to find it --> Hero- glyphics

Thank you for seeing this guys, i hope you're able to support these wonderful artists and view some more art in the future, i would love to see other websites that i can support and show up here so you guys can check them out as well!! :) Take care

Curious Questions Tag

My Lovely cousin Carolina tagged me in this tag which is called The Curious Questions tag and she found it off of tumblr but here i'll give you guys a link to check out her post as well as her blog overall Carolina's Curious Questions Post  so please go check out that out because i love everything my cousin has made on her blogpost, she puts so much effort into her blog and i adore it so much!! Well let's begin?!

1. Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? 
Yes i could! i've never wanted to smoke, i don't find it appealing and i also don't want to have cancer... so nope!!!

2. Are you single/ taken/ heartbroken/ confused? 
ah this is a good question, you know i am single and i want to say i'm not interested in anyone but whenever i see this person i feel as though i'm interested, it's constantly off and on though... so i'm confused haha!! :')

3. What if I told you that you were pretty?
Well i would say thank you, but then again who is asking this question??... are you cute? ;) can i have your number?.. i'll stop. 

4. Ever been told "it's not you, it's me?''
This is basically story of my life, every person that has rejected me whether i like someone or i'm dating them has said something similar to this, so yeah i'm a pro at that expression.. lol 

5. Are you interested in anyone right now? 
Ughhhh i don't even know, number 2 kind of explains that, but basically maybe i am but then again i confuse my feelings a lot, or so i've noticed with previous encounters haha 

6. What are you looking forward to in the next year? 
Being able to create more art, expressing myself more and meeting some awesome people :) And hopefully revisiting some old friendships as well

7. Do you want to be single? 
For right now yes, i would like to be single and kind of just discover more about myself, i always feel like i say that a lot but i mean it, soooo much to discover with myself and work on, but if something were to happen i wouldn't reject it either, i'll let it happen happily, as people should :) 

8. Did you go out or stay in last night? 
Well i went to eat with my parents during the day around lunch time, and then i just stayed in my house trying to figure out my class schedule for the spring session

9. How late did you stay up last night? 
Hm i'm not too sure, maybe 12 or 1? 

10. Can you recall the last time you like someone a lot? 
Someone that i liked a lot was my ex bf, from highschool, since then i haven't really liked someone in a passionate way if that makes sense, but i've had little crushes here and there.

11. Last three things you had to drink? 
Water, Lemon Iced tea, and probably more water :)

12. Have you pretended to like someone? 
Yes i have, with the last people i went on a date with, which was a while back, i don't think i was aware of my feelings at that time so i had to stop it and i let him go for the best 

13. Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? 
Um i don't think so, i love a lot of people as friends and as people, so when i say it i mean it in that context. For relationships, well maybe the last guy i dated, he said i love you a lot to me, and i replied back as well but love at that moment for me was more as a friend than something else if that makes sense 

14. Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last three months? 
;) .... no they haven't lol i'm a loner.

15. Is it hard for you to get over someone? 
I think it depends, if i truly liked and cared for that relationship then of course yes, but um that's why i had a problem with the person i last dated, they get over things soooo quickly and that' s not how i am, even though i didn't really like him i still felt a bit sad a couple of weeks later, where in his case he completely forgot anything had happened between us 

16. Think back five months ago, were you single? 
Technically yes, i was just casually dating but nothing too serious 

17. What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? 
I was probably reading 

18. Hold hands with anyone this week? 
Nope!

19. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
Hm, no i don't think so, i'm not too crazy about alcohol but i think i would like an occasional drink or two once in a while, my mom is the same way 

20. What would you name your future daughter? 
Leta, i've always adored that name as well as Anaya, i didn't know it was my grandmas name,i never got a chance to meet her when i was older because she passed, but um i think it's a beautiful name 

21. Do you miss anyone? 
Of course, i miss my cousin Carolina!! :) and i miss some of my other friends that i haven't seen in a while 

22. Have you kissed three or more people in one night? 
haha!!! i don't have game like that, so no.. I'm a dweeb 

23. Did you last kiss take place in/on a bed? 
No it took place at an amusement park 

24. Are you good at hiding your feelings? 
Ah yes i am, i'm trying to work on that and be more expressive, i'm doing well though i promise :) 

25. Have you ever cried from being so mad? 
lol I have, and it wasn't from being made at someone else, i was mad at myself 

26. Who did you last see in person? 
I always see my mom so i won't count that, um i saw my friend brian last 

27. Are you listening to music right now? 
Yes i am! It's dean - put my hands on you 

28. What is something you currently want? 
I want some cute school supplies, like cute stationary and pencils... i don't know i just adore that type of stuff 

29. What is the last thing you said out loud?
I asked my bro if he was sick lol 

30. How is your heart lately? 
My heart has been fine, my mind.. that's a different story 

31. Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? 
Rarely, i usually wear it if it's raining, other than that then no 

32. Are you wearing socks? 
No i like being barefoot a lot of the time when i'm at my house 

33. What do people call you? 
Usually just Yvette or yvetter because of my usernames sometimes it's just a nickname that my friends use, also mama bear and i'm known for my last name, Rubio 

34. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? 
I doubt it 

35. Are there any stressful situations in you life? 
Um so far not really, just um i guess my anxiety it's been rising lately 

36. Who did you last share a bed with? 
Just me, myself, and I 

37. Did you do something bad today? 
I don't think so, or maybe i did and i just don't know, i guess we will never find out!

38. When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? 
Um probably friday 

39. Do you get stressed out easily? 
Yeah over really silly things as well, my anxiety doesn't help me out at all 

40. Will you sing today? 
Bish pleaseeee, i sing everyday, i make my life into songs sometimes and just make a theme song for everything lol 

41. Have you ever wanted to sell something but didn't? 
Not really 

42. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? 
My cousin Carolina :) and Danielle or Naz, basically my girl friends that i have 

43. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? 
No i haven't and i'm really glad i haven't but i do think about it a lot 

44. What are you listening to right now? 
San E - story of someone i know, he's a korean rapper/ singer 

45. What is wrong with you right now? 
My mind is what is wrong, my mental state is all over the place but i'm doing well :D

46. What is on your wrists right now? 
On my left inner wrist is my tattoo lol and my right wrist i have my little elephant bracelet, because i love elephants 

47. Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you're wearing? 
From Relay for life when i went to my cousins a while back 

48. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? 
Hot chocolate, i've never tried hot apple cider 

49. Do you make wishes at 11:11? 
Yeah if i see that it's 11:11 

50. Are you a good artist? 
I think i am a growing artist, i will constantly improve :)

51. Love really is a beautiful thing huh? 
I agree with what my cousin said, if it's reciprocated, because it's true!! lol who wants to be on a one ended relationship? not me.. better love me boyyyyy

52. Do you miss the way things were six months ago? 
Yes and no, yes for the memories and no for the growth that has happened to me 

53. Ever been on a golf cart? 
No i haven't!! I would love to though 

54. Do you have trust issues? 
Um no i don't, no one has led me to having trust issues 

55. Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? 
Maybe just my cousin Carolina :) like through facetime 

56. Do you use chap stick? 
Yes i do! it's a must for me 

57. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? 
Yeah but it was a playful slap nothing harmful 

58. Do you have a little sister? 
No i'm the baby girl... and i wouldn't want a little sister lol i'm fine as it is 

59. Have you ever been to New York? 
No i haven't! I've wanted to go for the longest time i could remember, maybe one day i will :)

I hope you all enjoyed this! I enjoyed doing it and please go over to my cousins blog to see her responses, they are very interesting! Go spread some love, take care guys :) 

I Want To Be More Social

Hey everyone! I wanted to share something real quick, and this is a little problem that i've been having, it isn't too bad but i think it should be discussed. I want to be more social, it sounds funny but it's something that i'm struggling with and it's something that is soooo important especially being in college, being surrounded by a good group of friends or people to help you and socialize with is beautiful and i miss that feeling, lately i've loved being miss independent where i'm focused on myself and my studies and i'm loving myself more and more which don't get me wrong is beautiful on its own but i would like to make myself more available to the people around me that are in and outside of my class so i'm able to have a social life, and i do kind of have one, not really i've only been really hanging out with people from highschool and although that's great to see them again and always converse with them i want to kind of break free from the past and be able to set a new ground and see new people and explore new outcomes that i would get out of these new peoples, bleh.. i will make it happen! I've met some great people already that are in my winter class so there are some improvements and i'm hoping in spring it'll be even bigger and better, thank you for looking at this guys! I honestly thought i should just get this off my chest, so thank you and take care :)

Book Review: Fangirl By Rainbow Rowell

Hello everyone!! i haven't really updated you guys about my life or anything related to it, but i'm sure you can tell that i've been busy with life and school of course since i am taking a winter class which is super interesting :) On to the Review!! This book is any teenagers life i believe, we all have this fascination with characters that we may love in a book and i thought this book closely related with my life, and it's just a super quick adorable read! it's cheesy goodness and very well written and immerses you into the characters life, and i think i related it to the most because i have this blog up and i write for it time to time and this is occurring with a freshmen in college and the way she creates and writes content for her fanfiction account.. but this book was really great and i'm glad i was able to read and i would recommend it to anyone that wants to read it because i think it can enjoyed by everyone, it's not boring at all :) and it's fairly simple to read so it shouldn't take too long to finish it either. I hope you enjoyed this review and i'll talk to you all soon, take care!! :)